I got lost then, I know I did. When I think back to that period of time it's as if I'm trying to look through a fog, but at the same time it's perfectly clear. I met him and fell in love. Fast, hard, all that cliché stuff you read in books and see in movies. But it didn't work out quite like all those love stories, did it? To keep a long, but still not so long, and complicated story short: he lied, about everything, and then didn't give me a reason for him ending it. Or that he did end it.
Now I'm broken, more broken than before which I would have found hard to believe only six months ago, but here I am. I am trying, desperately so, to climb up through this deep and dark pit that is my life. I feel as if I can't breathe at the moment, as if me merely still being in this place is suffocating me. I can't comprehend how it could go this way, I was fine here only a few months ago and now I am scratching at my throat to keep me breathing long enough to get out of here.
And my way out of here might be gone, which only makes the scratching more desperate. I might have lost the biggest dream I have yet to have, and that breaks me even more. I usually say "Don't give up without a fight. If you want it, it's got to be worth fighting for, and if it is: fight for it", and I do usually follow that phrase. But it's as if my whole being is saying no and shutting down. There might be a chance, the slimmest of chances but still a chance, for me to still be able to get this dream. I will fight for this dream, as it is the only thing that keeps me breathing now a days.